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Where suggestions stop being polite and start getting real.
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4th-Dec-2007 08:57 pm - Organized linguicide
Dr. Jackson (lingual/supergeek)
Title
Organized linguicide

Short, concise description of the idea
Narrow the definition of alumnus in all declensions to exclude non-graduates.

Full description of the idea
The panel has discovered that many definitive (no pun intended) online dictionaries (even the prescriptive ones) list the definition of alumnus (and other declensions of alumnus) as "a graduate or former student of a specific school, college, or university" or something similar. The panel takes issue with the phrase "or former student" and would like it to be stricken from all prescriptive definitions (as well as (read: "especially") from common use).

An ordered list of benefits
  1. Too many alumni (and alumnae) don't even know that alumni is plural. Let's shrink that number.

  2. Definition would be less ambiguous.



An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. People suck too much to know a good thing when they hear it.

  2. People will argue that alumnus fills a void with its ambiguity that graduate does not fill. Therefore, we should just use graduate to express that a person is a graduate. Rebuttal: Facebook.com doesn't list "graduate" as a status choice.



An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
  • License to glossecticize anyone who uses alumnus (or a derivative) in the broad meaning. That is all.

thumbs up, livejournal
Title
Sexually Transmitted Diseases via Facebook

Short, concise description of the idea
Simulate the spread of real sexually transmitted diseases through a Facebook application.

Full description of the idea
Facebook.com is a popular social networking site that allows users to reproduce or construct relationships in the digital realm. However, there is one important aspect of real-life social interaction that is currently not adequately represented: sexually transmitted diseases. I would like to use the new "applications" API to introduce STDs to the world of social networking on the internet.

An ordered list of benefits
  1. It would be a more realistic analogy to real life.

  2. Perhaps some sociologically relevant information could be gathered from observing the spread of the STDs.

  3. Maybe it would raise awareness of the real-life risks.

  4. It would be funny to me.



An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. The sociological information might not actually be that relevant because fucking someone through Facebook is a pretty different proposition than fucking them in real life.

  2. Surprisingly, there don't seem to be many sexually-themed applications on Facebook right now, so they might have some kind of policy against it or something.

  3. Once people found out about the diseases, they might stop using the application.



An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
Create an application disguised as an innocuous sex thing that adds a "Sexually attracted to this person? Fuck them!" link to users' profiles. A randomly selected¹ few of the first users who add the application could have flags set for one (or more!) of a wide variety of sexually transmitted diseases. Whenever they use the application to fuck someone else, or someone else uses it on them, there should be a chance of spreading that disease to the other person. That chance should be based on the real-life infectiousness of the disease, as well as factors determined by the fucking -- that is, when you decide to fuck someone, you should be presented with a fairly thorough list of sexual activities, and you can pick and choose which ones to perform, and this can increase or decrease the risk of infection. (Much like friend details, the person you're trying to fuck would have to "provide consent" by confirming these, unless you check a rape box.) Information about the spread of the diseases would be collected for statistical purposes.

Users infected with a disease would never explicitly be told that they have it; instead, they would just sometimes receive notifications of symptoms such as a peculiar burning sensation while urinating (these notifications should, of course, be as accurate to the real diseases as possible). It should also be possible for some of the infected people to show no symptoms at all, but still spread the disease to others.

Hopefully by now you get the idea. The goal is simply to simulate real STDs to the greatest extent that Facebook applications will allow. I'm open to changes or additional features as long as they bring us closer to that goal.

What do you think, sirs?

1. As an alternative to randomly selecting them, it might be fun to base these initial disease-spreaders on who we think is the most likely to have the diseases in real life.
21st-Sep-2007 02:22 pm - Water Fountain in My Apartment
new orleans, silly
Title
Water Fountain in My Apartment

Short, concise description of the idea
Install a water fountain in my apartment.

Full description of the idea
Water, or dihydrogen monoxide, is one of the most famous (or infamous) chemicals in the world. Despite claims that it sucks, water is unfortunately necessary for human survival. Your body is like an engine, and water is like some thing that is in that engine. Though some water can be ingested by way of various foods and beverages, it doesn't add up to the gallons of water that the Mayo Clinic suggests should be imbibed daily.

Some modern homes are equipped with facilities for dispensing water by way of a faucet or spigot. While useful in some situations, this is less than ideal for water consumption because this water is not chilled and is difficult to direct into one's mouth without the use of some sort of third-party device such as a glass, which will then have to be washed. Clearly this is not the most efficient system of water delivery.

Thus, I suggest the installation of a water fountain, similar to those found in schools, some of your better libraries, and various other public buildings, in my apartment. This way, if I needed to replenish the amount of water in my body, I could simply press a button and receive a stream of cool, crystal clear dihydrogen monoxide delivered straight to my quivering lips.

An ordered list of benefits
  1. I could bypass the hassle of using a glass and ice or a pitcher, and just get exactly the amount of water that I want, already cold, delivered straight to my quivering lips.
  2. Because I might sometimes do this instead of drinking a soda or something, I might not get quite as fat as I would otherwise.


An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. The plumbing might be tricky.
  2. Keeping the water chilled would use a significant amount of electricity, and the motor would probably make an annoying noise.


An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
  • Obtain a water fountain
  • Connect the water fountain to the existing water pipes and electrical things in my apartment (don't know how difficult this is; IANAP (I am not a plumber))
  • PARTY DOWN!
18th-Sep-2007 08:52 pm - Official RealSuggestions Icon
May 2007
Title
Official RealSuggestions Icon

Short, concise description of the idea

A community that's started getting real needs an applicable icon.

Full description of the idea

realsuggestions lacks an icon. realsuggestions should have an icon. This icon should be applicable to the community and to the purpose of the community, as well as to the universe as a whole.

Here is a starting point:



An ordered list of benefits
  1. Community unity

  2. Who doesn't like icons

  3. Even if we use up all the spaces the community has for icons they'll up the quota again soon



An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. Someone has to make it

  2. Nightmares



An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
  • Take suggestions for icon contents
  • Mock up possible icons
  • Vote on icons
  • Choose icon
  • Use icon
  • Alternately, use despotic moderator powers to create and use an icon without consulting community members
18th-Sep-2007 07:23 pm - Chicks of the Pack Breast Match
thinker (facts)


Title
Chicks of the Pack Breast Match

Short, concise description of the idea

Akin to the famous Celebrity Breast Match, but with the breasts of the Pack females.

Full description of the idea

Players would be presented with photographs featuring the bared breasts of three of the Pack women. Based on the player's knowledge of the Pack women's breasts, he OR SHE would match the image of the breasts to the woman's name. It's that simple! Winners would, of course, win prizes (or certified no-prizes).

An ordered list of benefits
  1. ...I think this goes without saying.
  2. But of course, I'll say it: puzzles are always fun, as are prizes.


An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. Obtaining the photos of the bared breasts would be difficult.
  2. Obtaining permission to shoot the photos and distribute them online would be even more difficult.


An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
  • Because divulging the implementation strategy would compromise its effectiveness, I will keep it for ears only.
  • Contact me for details, or create your own!


--This suggestion made using the official REAL Suggestions template.--
18th-Sep-2007 07:25 pm - Template for realsuggestions posts
thinker, beard
Title
Template for realsuggestions posts

Short, concise description of the idea
A template for posts in the realsuggestions community.

Full description of the idea
The realsuggestions community is easily the most enjoyable part of the acclaimed website LiveJournal. Obviously people should post suggestions in it all the time. Unfortunately, they do not.

I suggest that part of the reason for this may be the dauntingness of the task of creating a post that fits the suggestions format. I further suggest that that problem may be alleviated with the creation of a template containing the basic Z format for a post, such that users can simply "fill in the blanks."

An ordered list of benefits
  1. It would be easier to make posts in realsuggestions.
  2. If we're lucky, this could lead to more people making posts in realsuggestions (but let's not get ahead of ourselves here).


An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. Someone would have to make the template.
  2. Not sure where to post the template (see below).


An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
When I finish writing this post, I could copy and paste it into a text editor or something. I could then go through the pasted post and remove all the parts that are not a template, in the manner of sculpting an elephant. When that's done, the resulting product should be pretty close to a template (though I may have to add a <ul> tag to this section in case someone wants to use an organized list instead of a few short paragraphs as I have), and I could then post the finished template somewhere and make a link to it from the userinfo of the community.

One possible hitch is that I'm not sure of the optimal place to post the template, i.e. whether it should be an entry here, a separate file hosted elsewhere, or just embedded in the userinfo, or what. However, I'm confident that this can be worked out in time.
Project leader&#39;s shoes
Title
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 1.5

Short, concise description of the idea
Create a movie centering on the character Mr. Turkentine from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Full description of the idea
David Battley's performance as Charlie Bucket's teacher Mr. Turkentine is easily the most enjoyable part of the acclaimed movie Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1975). Obviously Turkentine should have been in more of the movie. Unfortunately, he was not.

Thus, the sensible thing to do would be to make a new movie chronicling the experiences of Mr. Turkentine in the same style as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead or The Lion King 1 1/2.

An ordered list of benefits
  1. The world would finally have a movie full of one of time's most entertaining characters.

An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. David Battley died from a heart attack in 2003.

An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
Due to the very untimely demise of 68-year-old David Battley, a new actor would need to be cast in the role of Turkentine. I suggest commissioning his daughter, actress Zoe S. Battley, to find the perfect actor to imitate her father (since daughters rock at finding men exactly like their fathers).
25th-Aug-2007 10:57 pm - New Suggestions Community
cosmic (omniscience)
Title
New Suggestions Community

Short, concise description of the idea
A new community in the original spirit of the LiveJournal suggestions community.

Full description of the idea
This community, titled realsuggestions or something similar, would allow any LiveJournal user to suggest whatever she or he feels should be suggested. This approach would more closely resemble the early days of the suggestions community, and thus provide an outlet for all suggestions which would be deleted under the tyranny of the current incarnation of suggestions. (All suggestions in realsuggestions (or whatever) would still follow the format of the original suggestions community.)

An ordered list of benefits
  1. LJ users would have an open forum in which they could suggest things.
  2. Suggestions would not be deleted due to their lack of relevance.

An ordered list of problems/issues involved
  1. LiveJournal may shut it down because it confuses the poorly educated LJ users.
  2. Users may get upset if their suggestions are ignored (though never deleted!).

An organized list, or a few short paragraphs detailing suggestions for implementation
  • Someone should get some balls and use LJ's existing community-starting framework to set this bad boy up.
  • This is an organized list.
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